the pilgrim and the gypsy

woman.
i call you out like a child.
like a flower they call dandelions.
but they happen to be my favorite.
and when they are through.
wish.
but i am tired of wishing.
i have said so many prayers.
and then.
i stopped.
because.
im in a sandbox.
as a pilgrim.
in love with a gypsy.
and she has me wrapped around her world.
and another phone call will bring me closer.
or one step away.

dance.
one.
more.
time.

spades, blades and a butterfly

careful butterfly
why aren't you in the clouds
or wandering among the buds
you flap around on the pavement
and goodness i tried to give you a lift
but refused and took yourself
to the jungles of the lawn
camoflauge now

but ill spot you out among the crowd
animals have passed through
but nothing has caught my fancy
quite like you
the dust i love and nearer to the earth ill be
so among those spades and blades
have buried me beneath
waiting

perfection

the smoke disapates through the atmosphere
and it's windy just right here
i think it's the Spirit
reminding me
He is here
like my life such a whisper
such a secret to some
but a secret for one
come closer dear
i will speak it-only if you listen
i think i could like you
and we could do something fun

gosh could it get even more sappy
never

because i love love
and what it does
and i threw away the cancer
that has crept into my bones
winding through my blood
hands wide a perfect t
a perfect love
a perfect hug

wrapped in sheets
hush your speaking too loudly
i can only dream

philippians 1:3

we sat and talked
that is how our friendship
began to me
pouring out your heart
on that joshua full sized bed
peering inside
your broken heart
fixing your glasses with
your middle finger
every couple seconds
and we spoke of Jesus
we were learning of His love
you strummed your guitar

i liked those times where we would smoke
because we were honest
and after several beers
we spoke as if there were three:
trials testimonies and truth
when You have told me things that made me
believe someone actually
like a best could be there
for me
really
i admire you alexander martin
because your a seeker
your a minister
your a giver
your a friend

you played your guitar

(for my dear friend alexander martin woodrow)

no uhh i am not sure okay i believe you

the snooze challenges me to wake again
and face the day with any sense of appreciation
it's sometimes hard waking up especially after a night of little sleep
i got to figure out some things in life
and maybe put them on paper because the ink is permanent
can't erase or ignore it unless it's thrown away

dream again heart
please just for me
remember to love again
how can i love if i struggle with loving myself
let alone Almighty God

read about the covenant of the bow
between you and man
for us to remember and you said you will too

can you show me something in the sky
something i read or a girl i meet
something obviously believable
because my faith is shakey
o God help my unbelief

i am more predictable than i thought
kinda hate that because i want to be the one who suprises you
and get called out on "that's my beloved son"
there again in the sky your voice like thunder
makes me want to look up there and expect
something

am i missing something so obvious that it's right in front of me

Elohim...Daddy...rescue me

being lonely. is that even biblical.
i am so torn between being appreciative and destructive.
my spirit cries and my flesh fail.
soul, don't give up on me now.
i am okay.
honest between these teeth and i will grin and settle down.
"...knew a man who once said death smiles at us all...all you have to do is smile back."
dangerously i am shrouded beneath darkness and a wick of hope will surely guide me.
holy God sanctify me again.

like a wildcat.
like a wild flower.

i am nothing.
merely a voice.
no bullhorns or whistles.
not my style.
i whisper.
can you hear me child.

all i need is love.
jealousy has no place here.
i miss her.

cover me in precious blood.
and tell me all of the wonderful things you will do.

i am reintroducing myself today.

"discontent is the disconnect...help my unbelief."

distance.

listening to:
jay z (young forever)
josh groban (oceano)
kid cudi (heart of a lion)
mae (the fishermans song)
creed (rain)
sherwood (ground beneath my feet)
the glorious unseen (all around me)
skyzoo (like a marathon)
mewithoutyou (the fox the crow and the cookie)

that up there is supposed to be a filler. because three times i have tried to say something intelligent, hardly got anything. and i miss comfort. is there a reason why i am two thousand three hundred and thirty three miles away. God called abraham far from home and left everything behind and gave him a promise. i would like one. like maybe a wife. something audible. i am not saying i want to put God in a box. it's just hard living life in faith and wonder. i am in florida. the only time i have seen this place is on maps. and he called me here. why.

confessions for the High Priest

i got some scruff and it's nearly one thirty
there is some liquor in the cupboard
but i don't drink alone
i just sigh heavy and listen to music
and open the bible for healing
Eloi Eloi why do i hurt your heart
thank you for passion
thank you for pride
but somehow i mix them up
and lust-that dirty word works like a weed
and chaps my hide
that's from dad
sins he probably struggled with
and as do i 
quit so your sons will learn as well 
i wanted to write how sorry i am
again
and your never to short to forgive
your probably rejoicing
while i ... don't even know
just write
your so faithful
(.beloved)